TEST

Rating: PG for language
Summary: Severus has some questions for Albus.
Warnings:
Betas: Thanks to IGTOW for her patience in putting up with my request for a 2nd beta. *kiss kiss*
Author's Notes: Established relationship as seen in the `Like Lemon for Licorice' series available at http://inkstain.inquill.net/ and at http://turn-of-the-page.com/. Story takes place during the events of _Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire_, which puts it after `The Stories We Tell' in this series of fanfiction. This story was written for the Albus Dumbledore/Severus Snape Buggering Bee, part of the Snapledore Carnal Carnival, at http://snapledore.slashcity.net/bee.
Challenge: Feeling that Severus deserves to die for his crimes as a Death Eater, this person stumbles upon Severus and Albus's relationship, one the public isn't aware of.[by: caycowa] HOWEVER, due to an inability on my part to write the story as I originally envisioned it, the challenge isn't fully met. I promise to do better next time.

JULIET: Good pilgrim, you do wrong your hand too much, which mannerly devotion shows in this; for saints have hands that pilgrims' hands do touch, and palm to palm is holy palmers' kiss.
ROMEO: Have not saints lips, and holy palmers too?
JULIET: Ay, pilgrim, lips that they must use in prayer.
ROMEO: O, then, dear saint, let lips do what hands do; they pray, grant thou, lest faith turn to despair.
JULIET: Saints do not move, though grant for prayers' sake.
ROMEO: Then move not, while my prayer's effect I take. Thus from my lips, by yours, my sin is purged.
JULIET: Then have my lips the sin that they have took.
ROMEO: Sin from thy lips? O trespass sweetly urged! Give me my sin again.

~ The Tragedy of Romeo and Juliet, Act I, Scene 5, by William Shakespeare

When Severus returned to the school, his first stop was the headmaster's office. He hoped to find Dumbledore there alone; there was much he needed to say, to ask, to understand.

He knocked on the exterior office door. It swung open without delay. Severus smiled grimly. His lover was indeed alone, or the wards would not have automatically allowed him inside. "Albus?" he called, upon discovering the room to be empty. "Where are you?"

"In here, my love," Albus said. His voice echoed from the bedchamber. Severus hurried through the main office and paused in the doorway upon seeing the other man. Albus looked up at him from his chair by the window and smiled. "You've returned. I'm so glad."

"Of course, I have," Severus said. He hurried forward to Albus's side and immediately found himself in a tight embrace. It felt almost too good to be back in his arms.

"I'm so glad," Albus repeated. "I worry so." He sank back into his chair, the magazine he'd been reading forgotten at his feet. He held onto Severus's hand. "How did it go? Tell me everything."

Severus pulled over the footstool and sat upon it, taking Albus's hands in his. "It went well enough."

"You made contact with Malfoy?"

"Yes, Lucius was agreeable."

"And Voldemort?"

"The Dark Lord is angry with me," Severus said, carefully keeping his voice calm and level. "But I shall be allowed to return eventually. A month, no longer. Lucius is pleased that I have asked to make amends for my late response to the summons. As he was my original sponsor into the circle, my return shall be to his credit."

Albus let out a breath. "He is angry, though? Is he... will he..."

"He will not harm me," Severus said. "Not while I am still of use to him. And I am. I promise you." He willed Albus to believe what he himself found impossible to credit. Why should the Dark Lord trust him again? He had failed to return to the circle when called. He had failed to deliver Potter to him when he had the chance. He had failed to provide aid to Quirrel. He had even saved Potter's life that first year. It was obvious. He was doomed. But Lucius had seemed so certain he'd be forgiven. Or was Lucius playing him for a fool?

But Albus could not know his fears. He did not need to know his doubts. He should never know Severus sometimes wrote and re-wrote final instructions for his burial, and if by some chance he did or figured it out, it was best for the both of them to pretend otherwise. They were good at pretending that all was well with their world, even that their affair would someday be a publicly celebrated event - that was something at which they excelled.

But they knew differently. They knew how the world would see them, as either a pathetic old fool recapturing some lost glory by sleeping with a man (who was only after his fortune) younger than his own great-grandchildren, or that Snape had somehow `ensnared and bewitched' Dumbledore's mind for his own twisted reasons.

Everything Dumbledore had done for Snape would be called into question, from his exculpatory testaments during the first Death Eater trials to his generosity in providing the Hogwarts Potions Master with a full laboratory for personal experiments. To be certain, the truth of their devotion to each other would become a rather sordid tale, if their multitude of enemies on either side of the demarcation between Light and Dark were given half a chance.

Albus smiled. It almost reached his eyes. "Yes, you are of use to him. But we should take a few moments to figure out precisely what you are going to tell him. There will be questions. I only pray there shall be no punishments."

"Albus," Severus said, ducking his face to hide it behind his stringy hair. "There will be a punishment. A hexing, perhaps the Cruciatus Curse, perhaps I shall be made to perform some onerous duty to prove myself to him. It does not matter. I shall do it and I shall find myself in position once more. You'll see."

"I wish... oh, my love, I wish things were different."

"They will be. One day." It was as sentimental as Severus could permit. "Now tell me. What happened with Crouch, Junior? Why was he Kissed?"

"Hm? That?" Albus sat back in his chair and reached for a cooling cup of tea. He offered some to Severus with a glance and was refused.

"Yes, Albus. That. You know what I'm talking about."

"I really don't. Cornelius had him Kissed. I had nothing to do with it."

"Like hell."

"Severus!"

"Honestly, Albus. Do you take me for a fool? You know and I know that no Dementor could come onto Hogwarts' grounds without your approval, and certainly not into the school itself. And yet a Dementor made it all the way inside AND performed the Kiss on a prisoner."

"What's your point?" Albus muttered, staring into his teacup.

Severus straightened, folding his arms. "My point should be obvious. You allowed that Dementor to come into the school. You, who spent how many hours setting up special wards against those foul creatures last year, should know better than to try to convince me that `it just happened', or that Cornelius Fudge, of all people, had the ability to supersede your will!"

Albus remained silent.

"Tell me." Severus stared at him, imploring him, willing him to explain.

Albus remained silent.

"Tell me or I shall leave you."

Albus remained silent.

"Fine." Severus got to his feet and was about to take a step when Albus's right hand reached out to grab his sleeve.

"No," Albus said. "I'll tell you. I'll confess."

Severus sat slowly. "Go on, then," he said. `Confess', though, was a strange choice of words. It sent a chill through him, but he listened without expression.

"Several weeks ago, Crouch, Junior came to see me, in his guise as Alastor Moody. I knew something odd was happening, but I let myself be blinded by loyalty to an old friend, and I let myself think all the wrong things were happening." Albus sighed. "I was such a fool - a careless, mindless fool."

"What did he have to say?" Severus asked, ignoring the other man's self-castigation.

"He said he had found evidence that one of the professors was having an inappropriate sexual relationship with another member of the staff. I said that the school had never involved itself with the personal lives of its staff. He said that the Board of Governors would be very interested in this one, and I have to admit, he was right. They would be."

The chill became a freezing stab through his gut. "Who... who was it? Was it..."

Albus nodded. "It was us. He had discovered... I'm not sure what or how. He put many things together and reached, surprisingly in retrospect, the correct conclusion."

"Why a surprise?"

"Because Crouch, Junior, was not the most cunning student to grace these walls. Frankly, I was astonished he had... but it is no matter. He discovered our relationship and he..."

"Blackmailed you."

Albus nodded. "In so many words."

"What did he ask for?"

"The chance to ruin you, basically. Oh, he asked for a number of small favors that seemed reasonable enough for Alastor Moody. Another search of the school. More money. Greater control over the students' activities. A chance to search the students' dorms."

Severus gasped involuntarily. "Then he meant to get Potter away from here sooner?"

"And less publicly, it seems," Albus said. "If he had done anything in class, an entire roomful of students would have noticed it. Harry was always with his friends, particularly as the year progressed. There was also the issue of Voldemort's choice of timing, but I daresay if he could have got Harry away earlier, he might have tried."

"Was there anything else he wanted?"

"He wanted one of us fired. You, in fact."

Severus laughed a little. "Really? On what grounds?"

"That you were unduly influencing me," Albus said. "I suspect his aim there was to separate us, make us vulnerable to Voldemort by removing us from our positions of strength. Divide us and then conquer. I have no doubt, were you to leave the safe confines of the school, that Crouch would have forcibly taken you, or your... body, to Voldemort. And if I were forced to leave, Harry would find no safe ally in yourself, as he does not trust you -"

"We agreed -"

"I know, and I stand by that agreement. But Harry would be left virtually alone, without support, and he would be left vulnerable to whatever machinations Voldemort was planning next. And so, of course, would you be, were we to be separated."

"And so you... dealt with him."

"I did," Albus said. "I told him I would leave and recommend he be placed in control of the school."

"You what!?"

Albus raised a hand. "I did. I also pointed out that it would be very strange if I did this before the end of term, but that I would be happy to announce my retirement at the Leaving Feast."

Severus felt his throat constrict. "What were you really going to do?"

"Leave, I suppose."

He shook his head. "I mean it, Albus."

"I'm not sure," Albus admitted.

"You didn't tell me a thing." Nor had he noticed. He'd suspected something was off, but he'd chalked any free-floating anxiety up to preparations for the Third Task itself, as well as the various political problems Albus had had to deal with over the past six months, such as Hagrid's genetic heritage and Rita Skeeter stalking Harry Potter.

"How could I? You would have reacted in a noticeably suspicious manner. I know you. You would have wanted to confront him in order to `rescue' me, and he would have seen you coming and been ready for you. I did not know he was not my old friend Alastor. You nor I were prepared to deal with the threat he posed to us."

"I... suppose not."

"You have every right to be angry with me for keeping this a secret," Albus said. "You may take it out on me at your discretion."

Severus glanced up at his lover, amused to see a hint of the familiar twinkle in those beloved light blue eyes. "Don't start with me, old man," he said. "You're not done explaining - oh, my god. I just realized," he said with dawning horror. "You purposely... you did it... yourself, you meant to..."

Albus nodded and for a moment, he looked his age. "I had no choice. He was going to... he would have... I knew, you see. I realized it the moment he made his mistake. Alastor would never have taken Harry away from the rest of us. Therefore, he was not Alastor. I realized that fact, and then I knew for certain that we were in much more danger than simple professional disgrace and only *possible* physical harm. We were fighting for the Light. For our lives. For our love. I had no choice."

"I know you didn't," Severus said, and the horror faded as he realized he would have done the exact same thing. "We're certain he told no one about us?"

"I am certain," Albus said. "We are safe once more."

"Because you have made us so."

Albus smiled. "Indeed. But it is no less a thing that what you are planning to do, with Malfoy and with Voldemort."

"I'm not sure I follow." "You are planning to sacrifice yourself, your soul and your reputation and possibly, even your life, for the sake of the Light, are you not? Well, I have done much the same thing, except my actions are decidedly less than noble. I have done a heinous act. I willfully organized the murder of another man's soul for no better reason than to protect myself and my love from public ridicule and physical discomfort. What you are planning, to sublimate your true self in order to spy on the Dark... it a much greater thing, a braver thing. And you do this all in the name of the Light. I cannot say the same for myself."

Severus took Albus's hands in his as he gazed into his lover's eyes. "You did this for love. For our love. Forgive me, my dearest, but I find I cannot fault you for it."

Albus smiled back at him for a long moment, then leant forward to press a gentle kiss to Severus's forehead. He murmured a few words and then kissed him again.

"What was that?" Severus asked him.

"A bit of poetry," he said, fitting their palms together. "It signifies nothing."

fin

Holy Palmer's Kiss